Gregasaurus Rex

I feel like I should finish reading Mockingjay to say that I completed the series, but it’s just so painful. I hate all of the characters. There have been no redeeming qualities to anyone in the novels except Rue (Rue’s mah gurlllllll), but we all know what happened to her (spoiler alert to people who are too cheap to buy a book/too illiterate to read at a 7th grade level). Not to mention the whole plot has become lame and contrived. The series had so much promise with the first book, but then it sort of spiraled down into another Twilight with this whole love triangle between Peeta Bread, Katniss, and Gale, who I’m convinced is actually gay.

Fifty years down the road when everyone forgets about those novels, I’m going to write my own series of Hunger Games books based on that dream I had yesterday. It’ll be about a Chinese dystopia where everyone fights over grains of rice by playing board games, and there will be a love quadrilateral between the main characters: Pumpernickel, EmoPussy, Gayle, and of course Rue. You’re all going to make it a best seller, right?